


It's Cool

by daggerswithroses



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society (Homestuck), Established Relationship, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Polyamory Negotiations, Quadrant Vacillation, Sollux Captor/Dave Strider Moirallegiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:00:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24781951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daggerswithroses/pseuds/daggerswithroses
Summary: It’s not like you’re completely oblivious, but you’re walking from your boyfriend's apartment to the apartment you share with your other boyfriend at 1:00am and the whole situation seems a little ridiculous. It would be one thing if Karkat and Sollux were actually completely 100% no homo best friends (in a platonic way) like they claim to be, but you’ve suspected since you became best friends (in a romantic way) with Sollux that there is something else there and now you’re convinced that you’re going to have to intervene.
Relationships: Sollux Captor/Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 6
Kudos: 64





	It's Cool

==>Dave: Return Home

You’re on your way home when the idea occurs to you. It’s not like you’re completely oblivious, but you’re walking from your boyfriend's apartment to the apartment you share with your other boyfriend at 1:00am and the whole situation seems a little ridiculous. It would be one thing if Karkat and Sollux were actually completely 100% no homo best friends (in a platonic way) like they claim to be, but you’ve suspected since you became best friends (in a romantic way) with Sollux that there is something else there and now you’re convinced that you’re going to have to intervene. What you aren’t convinced of is exactly how they are into each other. In your opinion, as the token human and tip of the unfortunately two sided triangle, they seem to go between pale and black. Due to the delicate nature of the subject, you’ll sort it out with Sollux first. Even when you inevitably fuck up in approaching this emotional clusterfuck, Sollux will get it. 

But before you can deal with that, you have more pressing matters. You open the front door and go to the kitchen for the most sugary drink you can find. It seems counterintuitive, giving Sollux sugar when he so obviously needs to sleep, but you know from experience that he’ll likely not be sleeping soon regardless of what you do and what he needs most right now is calories. He burns that shit like mad due to his year round fourth of july fireworks show- not that you’d be able to guess based on what he actually eats. You grab a couple chocolate covered granola bars before heading into his room. It’s 50/50 whether he’ll actually eat, but it’s sweet and won’t go bad just laying on his desk.

You enter Sollux’s cave unnoticed, and squint beneath your sunglasses at his partially illuminated desk. You’re pleased to note that the glass you left before heading over to Karkat’s is almost empty and go over to replace it. This is when Sollux notices you. Or at least you think he does. He makes a confused noise and drinks the juice you brought him. He looks at you.

“Hey babe.” You hold out a granola bar, and he nods and absentmindedly takes it before returning to his work. You yawn, and are about to return to your own room for some much needed shut eye when you remember why you had to return home instead of chilling in post coitial bliss on the north side of town. 

You lean on his desk and try to think of the words to make this totally not awkward. When none come to mind, you decide to fuck it. You open the other granola bar and take a bite. “So like what’s up with you and Karkat? No judgement, but I just took the bus at clown hour because he was low key freaking out and I just wanna know if it’s something I need to know, ya know?”

Sollux looks up at you, looking confused. “What time is it?”

“12:43 in the goddamn morning, my dude.”

Sollux still looks confused. “Why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to be getting laid?”

You ruffle his hair because he’s got that scruffy, just spent too many hours coding face and he’s still looking confused so you just can’t help yourself. He leans into your hand, and you feel your face heat up. “I thought the same thing bro, but apparently something you said riled up Karkles something fierce. Totally cockblocked. He didn’t technically kick me out or tell me to ask you about it, but he was being all Karkat-y so I got the memo. And here I am, asking you.”

That reminds you. 

turntechGodhead [TG] began trolling  carcinoGeneticist [CG]

[TG]: hey babe

[TG]: i made it home

[TG]: sollux is making fun of me

[CG]: TELL HIM THAT WE’RE NOT SIX ANYMORE, HIS MYRIAD OF ISSUES ARE NONE OF MY BUSINESS, AND THAT HE SHOULD KNOW BETTER. ALSO THAT I’M NOT OVERREACTING, YOU GINORMOUS TOOL, I’M REACTING APPROPRIATELY BECAUSE UNLIKE YOU, I HAVE SELF CONTROL.

[TG]: okay wow

[CG]: FORGET I SAID THAT.

[CG]: I’M SORRY DAVE. I KNOW I RUINED OUR DATE NIGHT.

[TG]: nah its cool

[TG]: always down to hang with you even when you spend the night ranting about my bf 

[CG]: UGH DAVE.

[TG]: <3

[CG]: …

[CG]: <3

[TG]: k karkitten im gonna go sort this threeway out

[TG]: get fucking hyped your childhood crush is about to be realized

[TG]: your childhood self is furiously masturbating

[TG]: wait no thats weird forget i said that

[CG]: WHAT

[CG]: DAVE WHAT

[TG]: ttyl

[CG]: DAVE WHAT THE FUCK 

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

Sollux squints at you. “What’s he saying?” You put your furiously buzzing phone down on the desk next to you with a smile. Karkat’s hilarious. 

“He’s just freaking out because I said I’d sort out his childhood crush on you threesome style.” You tell him honestly. Moirallegiance is the honesty square after all. Sollux bursts out laughing and you can’t help but laugh with him.

When he stops laughing though, you can tell he’s nervous. You bump his ankle with your foot and smile and him when he looks up at you. He looks down at his hands. “Yeah it’s a thing, I guess.”

You move closer to him. “For a thing that’s apparently happening- it doesn’t seem to be happening very much. No offense dude, you know I got your back no matter what, but this train is pretty late. One could say that the train hasn’t even left the station. One could say the train is having some kind of mechanical-”

“Okay, okay,” He interrupts you. “I get it. It’s just-”

When he stops again, you take a breath and grab one of the hands he’s picking at. Physical affection has never been one of your strong suits, one could say it’s not even one of your suits at all, but he’s freaking out. When you lift it up, he intertwines your fingers. 

He takes a breath and continues, “Our thing. When we were younger, it was just dumb blackflirting that we never did anything about. We were too young for that anyway, but I thought we’d get there eventually. But- but things started getting-” He takes a breath and continues “things were getting pale. Not all the time or even most of the time, but too often to really be. I don’t know. Dave, you know I wouldn’t trade this for-”

You lift your other hand up to his face and brush your thumb over his cheek. He closes his eyes and the light in the room gets a bit dimmer. “Yeah I figured it was some sort of black-pale thing.” His eyes open again. “Is there something weird about those two in particular together?”

“What do you mean, _you figured_?” His tone is incredulous but he’s smiling. He grabs your hand that’s currently getting all up in his pale spots with his free hand, and intertwines your fingers. He pulls you onto his lap, and you are proud of yourself for successfully being more interesting than whatever he’s spent the last three days tirelessly working on.

“Dude, I’m dating Karkat. Plus, I watch steamy Alternian movies every friday. I know some shit about troll romance foursquare. You guys are best friends and get all mad at each other. Pale. Black.” You’ve been troll dating for years now, but you know you don’t always keep things in their proper boxes. While Karkat is your main squeeze in the horizontal tango, you and Sollux have definitely engaged in some quadrant blurring R-rated business. You and Sollux are mostly pale but go a little red, and you and Karkat are mostly red but turn a little black sometimes. Both your quadrant mates have accepted the blurring that your humanness requires. To be honest, you don’t think it’s just you that needs the lines to be a bit blurry sometimes.

Sollux lets go of your hands and hugs you, putting his face in your neck. You can feel his smile. “You’re cool with it? Even if it gets a little pale?”

You cup his face in your hands and know whatever you're about to say will be embarrassing. “I want you to be happy. And bro, I don’t know if you remember, but we’ve definitely gotten a little spicy.” You shift on his lap pointedly. He smiles. 

“And it’s not like me and Karkat don’t go a little black every once in a while.” You both look at your still buzzing phone as if by some moralligence induced telepathy. 

His hands move over your back and squeeze you. He kisses your collarbone before burying his face in your neck. You put your head in his hair and then kiss his temple. He takes off his glasses and then your shades so you’re looking into each other’s eyes. “I don’t know what I do without you.”

You are definitely blushing now. “Not Karkat, that’s for sure.” You both smile at your inability to have real emotional moments for more than five seconds at a time, and you rest your forehead against his. You say “We can eiffel tower him,” because you have no self control in these moments. He raises his eyebrows and looks at you. Your face heats up even more at his silent implication because he’s not wrong. 

When you peck him on the lips, you’re both smiling, as you have been for most of this somehow not horrendously awkward emotional conversation. This is why you talked to Sollux first. He makes this shit easy. There’s still one more to get onboard for the threesome though, so you finally pick your phone up and scroll through the walls of grey text without reading.

[TG]: tldr

[CG]: SEE IF I EVER FUCK YOU AGAIN, YOU USELESS ANNOYING PIECE OF SHIT.

[TG]: lmao youre about to eat those words

[CG]: EAT MY BULGE, CHUTEWIPE.

[TG]: i thought we werent doing that anymore

[CG]: FUCK OFF.

[TG]: no wait

[TG]: i talked to the other bae and he said the threesome is on

[TG]: you game?

[CG]: SOLLUX SAID WHAT?

[CG]: IF YOU’RE FUCKING WITH ME,

[CG]: DAVE, CAN WE JUST LET THIS GO. I KNOW YOU’RE MAD ABOUT TONIGHT. *I’M* MAD ABOUT TONIGHT, BUT IT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN. I’M SORRY.

[TG]: i told you its chill karkat

[TG]: how about you come over to ours tomorrow morning for breakfast and we talk about this all together

[TG]: like a raunchy pale threeway

[TG]: though i guess it would be today morning

[CG]: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT?

[CG]: YOU’RE FUCKING WITH ME, RIGHT??

Sollux, who had been reading with his cheek pressed against your chest, sighs and grabs the phone from you.

[TG]: Plea2e 2pare u2 your u2ual bull2hiit and 2top beiing a wiiggler about thii2. 

[CG]: SO YOU GUYS *ARE* SERIOUS. ARE YOU STUPID? WHAT AM I SAYING YOU ARE PROBABLY THE TWO BIGGEST DUMBASSES IN THIS GOGFORSAKEN NATION, MYSELF EXCLUDED.

[CG]: HOW WOULD IT EVEN WORK ANYWAY? YOU AND DAVE ARE GOOD TOGETHER. ME AND DAVE ARE GOOD TOGETHER. I THOUGHT WE HAD AN UNSPOKEN AGREEMENT THAT WE DIDN’T WANT TO MESS UP THE BEST RELATIONSHIPS WE’VE HAD FOR SOME WIGGLER HOOFBEASTSHIT THAT’S SUCH A MESS THAT IT PROBABLY COULDN’T EVEN LAST ANYWAY.

You wince a little. You get that this is just how they are together, but you can’t help the pang of sympathy that runs in you for your moirail. You lightly scratch near the base of his left horns, though he’s too focused on your phone to react.

[TG]: Oh fuck off, kk. Youve had a hiilariiously obviious cru2h on me for at lea2t fiive 2weeps. Thii2 2hiit ii2nt goiing anywhere.

[CG]: LIKE YOU’RE ANY BETTER.

[TG]: iim not. That2 why you 2hould come two breakfa2t and get pale eiiffel towered.

You are dead. You don’t know if it’s just because it’s almost 2am, but that’s about the funniest thing you’ve ever read. Sollux has killed you. When you kiss him, he’s laughing into it too.

[CG]: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

There is a pause while Karkat is presumably googling.

[CG]: WHAT THE FUCK.

[CG]: I HATE BOTH OF YOU.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

You put your arms around his neck, and he wraps his arms around your waist again after putting your phone down. You put your head on top of his, snugly between his horns. It’s not something you get to do often since he’s taller than you. The moment of nervousness lasts moments before it buzzes again.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

[CG]: I’LL BE THERE AT 10.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

You stay together for a while longer before you find yourself starting to fall asleep. Sitting on Sollux’s lap is great and all, but you actually do need to sleep if you’re going to make breakfast and navigate this relationship shit tomorrow. You pat his cheek. 

“You gonna stay up til tomorrow?”

“Probably.”

Later, however, when you’re in that realm of almost asleep, you feel the bed dip and a long lanky body spoon behind you. You make a tired noise in greeting because opening your mouth is beyond your capabilities at this point, and he kisses your cheek. You’re too tired to do anything else, but you fall asleep pretty fucking pleased with yourself.

==>Dave: Wake Up

You wake up just before nine on your own like you usually do nowadays. You still set an alarm, but it’s mostly a reminder to actually get ready instead of a wake up. Sollux is still wrapped around you and you want to enjoy the sleepy moirail cuddles until your alarm wakes you up. You two don’t usually sleep together, he prefers his alien slime pit, and he’s been especially distant in the past few days. Even though you’re not great at giving affection, you do love getting it. Sollux groans when you reach for your phone once you realize it’s saturday and your alarm isn’t going to go off. Last night, or early this morning, comes back to you suddenly.

“Karkat’s coming!” You pull yourself up so you’re sitting on the edge of the bed. “Fuck, I’ve got to make breakfast.”

Sollux is still making sleepy noises and limply reaches for you with one hand. When you stand up, it thuds back against the bed. You wish he could sleep longer since he so obviously needs it. You have forty five minutes until Karkat comes, though you honestly expect him to be a little late. Or rather, you expect him to arrive early but not actually knock on the door until shortly after 10. You’ll wake Sollux up later to give him enough time to shower. You might find the crust Sollux collects after coding for days to be sort of endearing, but you doubt either of them would agree.

You shower quickly and there’s this terrible moment where you think you’re going to care about what clothes to wear. What’s the usual dress code for wingmanning for your boyfriends? Luckily, you don’t actually own enough clothes to make this an actual thing and just pull on a t-shirt with a sweatshirt. You turn around and shake Sollux. His eyes slit open so you can see the red and blue glow beneath.

“Babe, you might wanna shower before we try to convince Karkat to fuck you,” you tell him honestly. His eyes widen and he’s already sitting up.

“Fuck, Karkat’s coming.” Sollux gets up and goes to shower and you note that this is the fastest you’ve seen him get moving in the morning in a while.

You decided on eggs and bacon for breakfast. Technically it’s eggs with streaky bacon in it plus bacon on the side. You don’t think you actually used a stove before leaving your brother’s apartment, but somehow between you and Sollux, you are the chef. If eating required him to spend more than 5 minutes cooking, you’re pretty certain Sollux would just starve. It’s not the healthiest, but bacon is a key part of your ongoing mission to get Sollux to ingest enough calories to actually power his taser telekinetic bullshit. 

It’s 9:55 and the eggs are almost done when Sollux comes up behind you and hugs you with his head on your shoulder. You offer him bacon from under the paper towel on the plate next to the stove. He takes it and kisses your cheek before eating it.

There’s a knock at your door. It’s only 9:57. You’re getting a bowl for the eggs and you look at Sollux in alarm. If you were less nervous, you could appreciate the timing on the breakfast. The eggs are just off the stove and the toast will pop up any moment now. He pats your shoulder before getting the door. 

You hear the door open and Sollux greet Karkat. That’s the only warning you get before Karkat is in front of you. He’s only a bit shorter than you; his grey skin is flushing red and his hands are on his hips.

“What?” You find yourself at loss for words. You know you invited him over, but this type of thing is really not your forte. It doesn’t help that being around Karkat and talking about emotions gets you embarrassingly flustered and tongue tied. Karkat’s only response is to narrow his eyes at you.

“Dave’s tired of our black-pale reach around.” Sollux comes to your rescue. “He says it keeps cockblocking him so we should just fuck already.” 

Karkat makes an indignant noise and turns on him. “Shut the fuck up. I’m not in the mood to deal with your shit right now.” Sollux seems amused by this response and shrugs at you. 

You grab the bacon plate and offer it to him when he turns back to you. “That about sums it up.” He softens and takes your bacon peace offering.

“Okay.” Karkat seems suspicious, but no longer angry. “But why? You and Sollux are like some star crossed moirallegiance shit” You’re blushing again, “which I’m very happy about, by the way. That walking disaster deserves a healthy moirallegiance, even if he’s one of the most obnoxious trolls I’ve ever met, which is a competitive fucking field let me tell you. And us? We’ve talked about us. It’s mostly red with bits of black and it somehow works. It works so fucking well. Sollux and I. Yeah we’ve flirted in the past, but we both found something, someone, who works. Why do you want to fuck with it?” He steps closer to you and you can’t help but look at the ground. Fuck, you love and hate when he does this emotions shit to you. 

Your brain is scrambling trying to come up with some sort of response to explain yourself. Why did you want your boyfriends to get together again? Why were you pushing this even though this romance bullshit will inevitably kill you from awkward conversation related stress. You remember Sollux looking down at his hands. “I want you to be happy. Both of you.”

Karkat opens his mouth and closes it again.

Suddenly you can’t help yourself. “Really, if I’d known that this was because of me, I’d have intervened earlier. I was trying to respect your weird troll courtship rituals, like the culturally sensitive human that I totally am, but frankly everyone has a breaking point, you know? And for me, that point is when your boyfriend spends your weekly dick appointment pining over your other boyfriend instead of, you know, tentacle dicking me like described in the appointment description. Yeah, I don’t know where you two want to take it from here, maybe you actually do get off on pretending to be in an unrequited romance with your childhood best friend like the movies you make me watch before aforementioned dick appointments, and do anything about it would actually ruin-”

This time it’s Karkat who saves you from yourself, “I told you to stop calling our friday movie date nights ‘dick appointments’.” The way he kisses you afterwards doesn’t do anything to help his case though.

Sollux, who had apparently been getting plates, cups and orange juice from the fridge while you were rambling, reminds you that he’s there when he grabs the bacon plate you’ve been holding onto this entire time. “Are you guys gonna eat? I’m not waiting.”

The romantic conversation stops for a moment while you both realize how hungry you are. It only starts up again when Karkat is finishing his toast and asks Sollux, “Okay, okay, fine. But what happens if it doesn’t work out?” You take a bite of more eggs and pointedly look away from them. 

Sollux and Karkat seem to be having some sort of silent conversation because it’s Karkat that answers himself, “I mean, if it doesn’t work out, and that’s a very real possibility and you know it, we’d still be hatefriends, right? It won’t get all weird like with Feferi?”

“Ugh, why are you so consistently stupid?” Before Karkat can protest, Sollux continues, “Of course we would be. At this point we’re basically stuck this way.” Your chest squeezes a little bit and you smirk even though you’re not part of this conversation anymore. When you look up at them and between them, you suddenly realize that you have probably fulfilled your role as wingman. 

You clear your throat and stand up with your plate. “Well I’ve got shit to do.” Unsurprisingly, Karkat looks like he wants to say something, “You kids have fun. Use protection.” It’s a bit hypocritical since you don’t use condoms with either of them. It’s one of the many benefits of interspecies sex, though you’re not even sure if trolls can even have condoms giving how... wiggly they are. That’s probably something that someone whose been fucking trolls for almost two years should know. Sollux gives you a look, but you can tell that he’s happy and it makes you happy. “What? You want troll chlamydia? Reminding you to wrap it up around strange trolls is my job as your moirail. You don’t know where that tentacle dick’s been.”

Sollux laughs a little at your joke, but he laughs even harder at the sound Karkat makes in response to your joke. While you put your dishes in the sink, he says “Not in you, apparently. I heard it was too busy thinking about someone else.” You flip him off and ruffle his hair as you pass him. 

Karkat looks extremely offended at the both of you. “Excuse me?” He turns to look at you over his shoulder as you walk to your room. “Fucking excuse me! That’s not even how that fucking works!”

“Sorry Karkles,” You peek your head out of your room, headphones already on. You point to them. You can see him talking, but don’t hear what he’s saying, “Busy. We’ll catch up later, babe.” 

You are determined to give them privacy, but the urge to eavesdrop is strong. Gossip is more of Karkat’s speciality, but you are, for obvious reasons, extremely invested in this particular romantic development. You assure yourself that Sollux will tell you what happens and that Karkat basically already admitted he wanted to date Sollux. Still, you find yourself very aware of how it’s been only two minutes since you’ve left them to their devices to figure it out and sigh. After watching a couple vine compilations on YouTube, you start to wonder if it would be cool to check in. It’s been almost an hour after all, and you really want to make sure everythings okay. 

You decide to go to the kitchen and get a snack, all cool and casual. Quietly, you open the door and softly walk down the hall, but keep your headphones in just in case. You’re not sure what you expected to find when you enter the joint living-dining area, but nothing could have prepared you for what you actually find. Karkat and Sollux are really going at it on the couch. Like you may need to pull a Regina George’s mom and get these crazy kids a bucket kinda going at it. You didn’t need to be worried about being quiet after all because there’s no way Karkat’s going to pay any attention to you with the way Sollux is pressing him into the couch cushions. Sollux’s shirt is pushed up near his armpits and Karkat is grabbing him in a way that you know from experience will definitely leave marks.

You may be staring at this point, but no one could possibly blame you for a little voyeurism when your boyfriends are making out in clear view from the fridge. You probably should have been staring a little less though because when you go to grab a cheese stick from the little drawer in your fridge, you manage to bang your knee against the side of the fridge. In a comedy of incompetence, you drop your phone, ripping the headphones out of your ears causing you to swear loudly. 

You’re relieved to find your phone uncracked, but when you look back towards the living room, Sollux is looking at you, unimpressed.

“Told you Karkat would be in the middle,” you blurt out because your brain-mouth filter periodically pulls a Vine and randomly disappears. Karkat starts to say something, but Sollux covers his mouth with his hand and sits up to look at you. 

“I didn’t realize how easy he was.” Muffled, furious Karkat noises come from below where Sollux is straddling his chest. You try to communicate using moirail telepathy that you’re happy for him that he's finally resolved this ridiculous decade long will-they won’t-they childhood friends bullshit. You think he gets it.

Sollux patented self satisfied smirk doesn’t last long because Karkat is flipping them over. It’s hilarious because it’s Karkat so it’s not some smooth casanova move, but actually just Karkat wrestling Sollux’s skinny ass in a way that reminds you more of when he tries to grab a controller than anything sexy. It works because Sollux is a nerd who can’t lift shit without his mind powers. You can also personally attest that Karkat has some real musculature to him under those large sweaters.

“Hilarious.” You’re embarrassed to say that Karkat’s voice is hoarse and that sort of turns you on which has got to be some sort of pavlov shit. “You and Sollux can joke all you want, but everyone here knows you are the middle,” and he actually mimes air quotes when he says ‘middle’ “Do you want me to start reading the shit you were trolling me 12 hours ago. Because I can and I will.”

You may an exaggerated whining sound, “Karkaaaat.” He looks unimpressed. The hot and steamy mood from before is obviously broken and you feel a bit bad about cockblocking your best bro. You’re not exactly sure how to convey this without being super awkward, “Should I-”

“Come here.” Karkat didn’t roll his eyes, but somehow you still felt the eye roll. “We were getting carried away.” Surprisingly, Sollux looks sort of sheepish. It’s not something you see very often. You slowly walk over to them, as if approaching a timid wild animal. This time Karkat does roll his eyes when he pulls you between them on the couch. 

“Everything’s cool then?” You’re turned towards Karkat. Sollux puts his head on your shoulder. 

Karkat sighs and smiles at you. “Yes, Dave. It’s cool.” He kisses you on the nose which instantly has you going red in that way only Karkat can do. Sollux knocks his head gently into yours. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've written fanfic in like 7 years. I tried my best.


End file.
